Forget Me Not.

I  have always had this fear. It’s a genuine fear of mine. When I say fear I mean cold sweats, dizzy, sick, falling-to-the-ground fear.

My fear? Forgetting. Being forgotten.

Forgetting who I am, forgetting who my family are, forgetting who loves me, forgetting who I love, forgetting the happiest days of my life, forgetting what house I live in, forgetting where I’ve worked, forgetting the worst days of my life, forgetting the people who let me down, forgetting the people who lifted me up, forgetting my first love, forgetting my last love, forgetting everything.

I fear this because memories, the good and the bad, make you who you are. All of you.

What If I’m forgotten? What if my friends leave me and forget me? What if no-one remembers me for anything good?

I have been tackling this fear for a very long time and I struggle with it a lot. I actually went to counselling for some time and we came up with an idea. Take photos. It may not seem like much, and in all honesty it might not even help if I genuinely did lose my memory. But it’s the one thing that comforts me.

Photos of myself, friends, and family smiling, having fun. I may not be able to remember their names but they are happy. They are happy to be around me whoever I am. That’s what I want.

I  want for me to be able to look at photos and work out the type of person I was. I want to be a good person. Someone who makes people smile and be happy. Someone who dances around like a loon, someone who (will hopefully be) was an amazing mother, someone who was an amazing sister, daughter, and friend.

This always makes me think of life on a grander scale, but in turn that gets me thinking about life on the smaller scale.

In order for me to get what I want from life as a whole I have to be able to make every small moment count. I need to smile as much as I can, dance and sing as much as I can, and I need to make accounts of it, be it through here or photos or writing random notes to myself. Either way…. It’s time I start making my life memorable.

What is your biggest fear? Can we combat it together?

Don’t let fear hold you down. Let fear push you to better yourself.

MakeItHappy

So I have just watched this video by a Vlogger I enjoy watching on Youtube. She got together with some of her Youtuber buddies and basically made them read out negative comments about their videos. I can imagine that sucks loads so what she did was slip a happy comment in there too to surprise them! (Isn’t that cute?)

The video is essentially about making the internet a happier place because these days we all spend so much of our time on it, why should it be so negative? When people put a lot of effort into their work or even a hobby it should be recognised and people should support that. Rather than being rude and mean about it.

A simple phrase “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” 

But change it a little for the internet world. “If you can’t type anything nice, don’t type anything at all.”

So give the video a quick watch and then let’s all get together to start making the internet a happier place!

So now you have watched that video here is a task for you today; say or do at least three things that will make someone smile. It could be a compliment to a stranger, a comment on a blog or post, or even a hug for someone who isn’t expecting it.

But why stop at three? You can keep doing it! Three a day like your meals!

GO! GO! GO!

Remembering The Good Ol’ Days

So my friend is in Japan (https://joslinsadventure.wordpress.com) go check him out, and yesterday he sent me pictures of Pikachu from a Pokemon shop there. Not only was I excited (I really want a Squirtle though!) I also had the sudden urge to watch some pokemon. So I spent an hour…or two on Youtube watching some of my favourite episodes.

I enjoyed it way too much and thought I would share with you a song from my childhood!

Ooooh what a happy childhood I had! (still have)

This brings me on to my next subject; what do you remember most from your childhood? What makes you smile the most when you reminisce?

Let me know in the comments, what do you miss most about being a child? What do you wish you could get away with now as an adult that you got away with when you were younger?

Here is my list:

1. Tracy Beaker

2. Blowing bubbles (then chasing them)

3. Kiss Chase (not that I was very good at it)

4. Racing for everything (“I’ll race you!!”)

5. Pokemon (of course!)

6. Borrowing Mr Floppy (or was it Floppy Donkey?) from my teacher (this sounds worse than it is, Mr Floppy/ Floppy Donkey was a donkey toy that would go home with the best behaved child from that week).

7. Birthday parties (the best bit was getting the little bag at the end with the cake and toys in)

8. Thinking boys were the biggest problem in the world. (not too far from the truth, am I right ladies?)

9. Being a librarian in primary school (too cool.)

10. Residential trips (getting my wellie boot stuck in some mud and a brave boy jumping over to grab it for me “my hero”)

11. THE ZOO! By far the best trips ever.

12. Accidentally throwing up in my friends hat (sorry…didn’t mean to. But thanks! I guess I owe you a hat?)

13. Blue Peter (I won a badge so I was a little excited about this show)

There are so many more but I couldn’t write a whole page on my childhood memories! Could I?

HELP!

So, I am not a very well travelled person- I grew up in a small town  with not a lot of money so the furthest I’d travelled (up until last year) was The Isle Of White (beautiful place though!) so last year I went to France (well Disneyland Paris to be exact, but I still left the country!) and to be honest just being in a different place where they speak a different language, have different food, and different buildings (I’m a weirdo, I like buildings) made me really want to see more of the world.

So, this is where I started planning a little bit (i’m not very good at this). I am going to LA at the end of February, and planning a cheap trip to Spain and possibly back to France too! But I need your help!

From reading a lot of your blogs it seems you’re all a bit travelled or have some sort of experience, well more so than me. So here is the favour I am asking you!

Where have you guys been and would recommend? Where can I go that it would be nice and cheap? What are things I should always remember when travelling? Any tips or tricks you can think of?

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Let’s see if we can get a nice little list together!

The Woman With A Heart

Today at work a woman walked in. She was very well dressed and looked as if she was quite important in her job role (whatever it was, that power cut was really working for her.) and she came in with a man that is known to be homeless around these ares. Since this is such a small town every one knows this man at least by sight.

So they walk in, and he looks like he is feeling really awkward as people turn their noses up at his smell, and try and dodge him a little bit. But not this woman.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards me and said “Excuse me, are you able to help me find some warm clothes for this man here please, I don’t mind how much it is but I would like Thermals, trousers, socks, gloves, hat, scarf, thick jumper and a sleeping bag.” So I spent a little under and hour with her to get this man sorted.

The whole time they were there he just stood in a corner not really conversing with us unless we asked him a direct question.

This woman then proceeded to send around £150 on kitting out this man with some warm clothes and a warm sleeping bag. She thanked me and handed the bag over to the man to whom she said “let’s go grab some lunch.”

Humans can be good.

A Hard Day

So, I recently started a new job and I have been nothing but busy, busy, busy! My new manager is really lovely and even said “Thank you” to me, which to anyone who knows me, this is an AMAZING thing!

Anyway, my first two weeks have contained no actual training as such because we have been preparing for audit. (great time to start a new job). So myself and my manager have been getting in early and leaving late so we can sort out the store (he’s only been in the store for a little while too, it seems the previous managers liked unorganised health hazards.) It has been a lot of hard work and I have been exhausted every single day, but it certainly paid off. We got an alright score considering how bad the store looked before and the area manager and my manager keep saying how lucky they are to have me on their team which makes me feel super good.

That is all over (for now) so now we’ve got to prepare the store for a big visit from one of the big bosses, so in between peeing ourselves (we’re scared not incontinent) and making stupid amounts of coffee we have begun prepping the store. This again has involved a lot of hard work. So today I came home and actually needed to do some cleaning and get food ready. Instead I thought “Forget this! I’m relaxing tonight!” I feel like it is VERY important to unwind, especially after a hard day at work. Just like a workout you need to work yourself up and work yourself down. I am trying my best at the moment to keep bad days at work spoken about to a minimum to avoid me blowing it up in my mind to something it isn’t and becoming a huge stress monster.

I basically thought I should compile a list of things I do after a hard day at work because maybe something I write could help you guys too? So here goes!

1. Get undressed.(FREEDOM)

2. Get dressed- but this time it better be in the comfiest clothes you own.

3. Put that kettle on. (no point sitting on the sofa with no cup of tea!)

4. Make the most rewarding cup of tea.

5. Grab a few biscuits (that is a few packets)

6. Put some rubbish TV on- you can substitute this with a rubbish film.

7. Eat myself into a biscuit coma.

8. Don’t have a shower because that’s way too much effort.

9. Wake up and make another cup of tea. (I think I’m addicted)

10. Read your favourite book of the moment (mine is currently “The Girl Who Saved The King Of Sweden” by Jonas Jonasson)

11. Read to your little hearts content.

12. Maybe put some music on (a good one for me is Alt-J)

13. Get someone else to make your food for you when they get home from work.

14. Run a bath if you fancy it- while you’re at it phone your best friend.

15. SLEEEEEP.

Tomorrow you will wake up a new person. Well that person would be a slightly biscuity, tea filled, rested person. But still, a new person!

So what do you guys do to wind down? Are you as lazy as me or do you do things that actually make you feel good in the long run like Yoga?

Let me know!

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The Tube: You Don’t Have To Try.

So I recently went to London and I was obviously using The Tube all the time.

I find that this is the perfect opportunity to people watch.

I found it funny (being from a very small town where everyone is generally friendly and willing to chat) that even making eye contact makes these people become almost silently hostile.

So while doing a bit of people watching I saw this girl get on with her boyfriend. She was a bigger girl, and her boyfriend was pretty damned grumpy. There was also a VERY model looking girl that got on at the same time. Rather than sitting next to his girlfriend he went and stood perfectly in front of this other girl. His girlfriend looked close to tears and it upset me so much.

I could see in her eyes how much she wanted to be this other girl. She wanted to be stick thin, perfect hair, perfect makeup, perfect clothes. She wanted to be someone else to impress her boyfriend.

Honestly I want to do two things, cuddle her and tell her that she is beautiful and unique and her eyes were gorgeous, Or burst into song.

This song is one that I also sent to my friend (the one from my previous blog “Letter To A Friend) because although it is very cheesy it is also very true.

The song is called “Try” By Colbie Callait. Give it a quick listen.

So, now you’ve listened to that I hope you remember that you are the one that has to put up with you for the rest of your life, so you are the one has to be happy with who you are, what you look like, how you act. So don’t try and make yourself different for other people.