Why I Am Never Happy

Well, c’mon guys. It’s crazy to say I’m never happy, but I am fairly certain I could be happier.

So, my theory is that I’m not happy simply because I’m not helping others as much as I could. Sure I do my fair share of simple good deeds and sure I will always try my best to help others out, but there is so much more I can do to help!

So (I know you’ll be surprised about this) HERE IS A LIST!:

Things I wanna do to help:

  • Remind my friends daily that they are beautiful.
  • Hang out with some of the elderly- let’s get chatting!
  • Buy strangers more coffee.
  • Send more flowers to strangers.
  • Leave cool notes at resteraunts.
  • Tell bad jokes to customers so they laugh out of pity. (this one is for me really.)
  • Encourage friends and family to go further in their lives.
  • Drink more tea. (how can this NOT make me happy?!)

Well honestly I thought I’d have a bigger list. Fancy helping me out chums? What do you do to make someones day? Or what has someone done for you that has made your day? Please let me know!

Anyway, I need a career where I get to care for others. I need to accomplish my life goal of making the world a better place one person at a time. It’s like Ann Frank always says “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” 

SO LETS GET TO IT.

To make everyone happy will make me happy too! Smiles ahoy!

(PS- I’m new to Snapchat and I think it’s hilarious.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cuppa Tea & Time to Type.

Well, hello there my fine feathered friends.

It’s been a while huh?

So, let me catch you up. I’m gonna do it like an episode of an American TV show…

PREVIOUSLY ON TALKTOKATE:

  • Myself and my partner broke up.
  • I have moved house twice.
  • I have moved job twice.
  • I have been in very, very low places.
  • I have drunk a lot of tea.
  • I have met a lot of new people.
  • I have been on many adventures.
  • I have been hurt.
  • I have healed.
  • Most of all… I am okay!

 

So, firstly; me and my partner broke up. Not for any bad reason, nothing happened other than we stopped loving each other the way you should. We became best friends by the end of it and it wasn’t fair on either of us to keep pushing it. We still talk though, we aren’t gonna waste almost 3 years of bonding. We are both happy, and going strong as individuals. He’s pretty cool, and I think I probably am too.

Secondly, GUYS I’VE MOVED HOUSE AND JOBS TWICE. Everything is all over the place! I am not happy in most jobs no matter how hard I try, and I think that is mainly because I’m not helping people (I’ll link ya to ‘Why I Am Never Happy‘!)and I have also moved house twice! Moving is exhausting by the way. In the space of three months I had to pack and unpack all of my belongings twice and make two different places something resembling a home. This is hard by the way. Super hard. (I’ll link ya to ‘Where’s Ya Home At’ soon). But do not fear guys! I have tea and biscuits at hand and I live with absolutely incredible people. It’s only a temporary solution whilst I get myself back on my feet, but these people are so cool for letting me have their spare room during that rollercoaster.

OKAY! So the fun bit! I HAVE BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUN! I haven’t done any crazy travelling, I don’t really have any crazy stories but what I do have is two new sisters whom I adore. Many new friends and additions to my made up family and exciting new memories that I will cherish forever! (I’ll link ya to ‘My Hand Picked Family’ soon) I have been on midnight picnics, zoo adventures, beach adventures, drinking adventures, work adventures, family adventures… all the adventures, much too many to say! So I’ll post some pictures with this ramble at the bottom so you can take a little look see!

Now the not so fun bit, I haven’t written in  a long time because I have been far too sad. I have hated myself for silly reasons, and I have been a risk to myself too. I get scared to say what I was really feeling, and where my head has been these past few months because I never want to get there again. I had to stop writing because sharing something I didn’t understand myself seemed damn near impossible, but recently I’ve had loads to say and show and so here I am. The past few months have been very emotionally taxing and in all honesty I didn’t know how I was going to make it through it. But I counted to ten and I started again. I have learnt so many new ways of coping with stress, anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, and goodness knows what other emotions have been floating around in that old noggin of mine. Thanks to some fantastic people and my own perseverance I think I’ll be okay. Naaaaah I’m jesting…. I know I’ll be okay.

I hope you wanna read still! Cos I’ve got a lot to write.

 

WATCH THIS SPACE!

 

Where there’s a will there’s a way.

I tell myself a lot of the time that as long as I try my hardest and push myself as much as I can I’ll be able to do anything, but at times if I fail I put myself down quite a bit. So as I walk to work today I’ll listen to motivating music.

Music that makes me take big strides and bop my head like a bobble head on a car dash board. Music that makes me walk with a bounce and tap my fingers. Music that makes me mime along on paths where no one can see, music that reminds me that if I give up I’ll regret it.

Today I’ll get dressed in my favourite jeans, my favourite blue vans, and my favourite yellow jumper and I WILL TAKE ON THE DAY. I will wake up with a groggy smile, I will brush my teeth with a minty smile, I will drink my tea with a big gulp and I WILL TAKE ON THE DAY.

Remember; You’ll fail 100% of shots never taken. So take them.

MORE NEWS TO COME!

What makes you feel determined my internet chums?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time To Feel Sexy

So this morning I woke up and looked at myself as I prepared to go for a run. I thought I am not happy with the way I look. Not in a “oh god I’m so horrible I hate myself I’m going to go cry over my cup of tea this morning” kind of way. Just a simple “This is how I want to look” kind of way. So I have decided to take up a dancing class.

1- because I can’t dance for my life and it will be hilarious to watch me try. (Maybe I’ll post videos so you can all laugh at me. Honestly I don’t mind if you do. I would. I will.)

2- because I want to gain a skill. (going back to number 1…honestly…it’ll be great if i can.)

3- (the most important.) I want to feel good about myself and I honestly think that doing pole fitness will be the one to help make that happen.

Pole fitness is a great workout in many ways. It works out every muscle and helps strengthen them so they actually become strong rather than just toning to look good (though I hope that happens too.) It’s also a fairly low impact one so it won’t be bad for my knees (call the 1940’s they let me loose in the future. Such an old woman.)

Anyway if you guys have’t seen how amazing pole fitness looks just go onto Youtube. Seriously there are some mega talented people out there- one girl is only like 8 years old and she is basically my idol now. She did some amazing things on the pole and I can bet your bum that she is stronger than me too. I hope to be as good as the little gal one day!

So I have now set myself a task to do this to see if doing something like pole fitness or general dance classes can help you feel more positive about yourself.

Will update you when I take first lessons and such.

What talents do you guys wish you had? Let me know! Let’s see if we can share some secret tips!

Must dash! My tea is getting cold!

Getting Somewhere

So, What’s happened since I was last here?

Not much to be honest,I have been told that I have basically got the job that I went for! I am pretty surprised because there was someone else who I thought was going to get at as he was really quite good!

To go along with my application I started trying my best to turn things around in the store. I’m quite lucky because I work with a team that are almost as enthusiastic about the turn around as me. It’s becoming a bit of a family. By that I mean they’re all a little crazy, and we most likely get on each others nerves quite a bit but I am very happy to be working with the loons!

Anyway, it’s only recently that I have really seen a team work together to get to the end of the tunnel and it is pretty fantastic. I can’t wait to get the official answer so I can celebrate with them and say a proper “Thank you” because they deserve it.

We are all little worker bees working together to make the best out of work, and i think that’s just wonderful.

My point really is; don’t forget that your actions have consequences that aren’t always bad. Remember that sometimes just being a little bit upbeat and genuinely wanting to help can help someone else too. Be it making them smile when they get stressed, being on the other side of the table with a drink in your hand to listen to rambling, or even be the one to physically help pick up the boxes of stock and carrying them up and down a million flights of stairs. Just remember that helping others in any way possible means the world can move in a more positive way.

Even if you’re having a bad day try your best to do one act of random kindness a day!

Go! Go! Go!

A Hard Day

So, I recently started a new job and I have been nothing but busy, busy, busy! My new manager is really lovely and even said “Thank you” to me, which to anyone who knows me, this is an AMAZING thing!

Anyway, my first two weeks have contained no actual training as such because we have been preparing for audit. (great time to start a new job). So myself and my manager have been getting in early and leaving late so we can sort out the store (he’s only been in the store for a little while too, it seems the previous managers liked unorganised health hazards.) It has been a lot of hard work and I have been exhausted every single day, but it certainly paid off. We got an alright score considering how bad the store looked before and the area manager and my manager keep saying how lucky they are to have me on their team which makes me feel super good.

That is all over (for now) so now we’ve got to prepare the store for a big visit from one of the big bosses, so in between peeing ourselves (we’re scared not incontinent) and making stupid amounts of coffee we have begun prepping the store. This again has involved a lot of hard work. So today I came home and actually needed to do some cleaning and get food ready. Instead I thought “Forget this! I’m relaxing tonight!” I feel like it is VERY important to unwind, especially after a hard day at work. Just like a workout you need to work yourself up and work yourself down. I am trying my best at the moment to keep bad days at work spoken about to a minimum to avoid me blowing it up in my mind to something it isn’t and becoming a huge stress monster.

I basically thought I should compile a list of things I do after a hard day at work because maybe something I write could help you guys too? So here goes!

1. Get undressed.(FREEDOM)

2. Get dressed- but this time it better be in the comfiest clothes you own.

3. Put that kettle on. (no point sitting on the sofa with no cup of tea!)

4. Make the most rewarding cup of tea.

5. Grab a few biscuits (that is a few packets)

6. Put some rubbish TV on- you can substitute this with a rubbish film.

7. Eat myself into a biscuit coma.

8. Don’t have a shower because that’s way too much effort.

9. Wake up and make another cup of tea. (I think I’m addicted)

10. Read your favourite book of the moment (mine is currently “The Girl Who Saved The King Of Sweden” by Jonas Jonasson)

11. Read to your little hearts content.

12. Maybe put some music on (a good one for me is Alt-J)

13. Get someone else to make your food for you when they get home from work.

14. Run a bath if you fancy it- while you’re at it phone your best friend.

15. SLEEEEEP.

Tomorrow you will wake up a new person. Well that person would be a slightly biscuity, tea filled, rested person. But still, a new person!

So what do you guys do to wind down? Are you as lazy as me or do you do things that actually make you feel good in the long run like Yoga?

Let me know!

15

A letter to a friend.

The words that break my heart.

“I need to loose weight, I’m not beautiful” My dear friend, beauty is more than what you are seeing on the outside. I know that you are a beautiful person. I’ve never seen someone so beautiful. I don’t just mean your gorgeous eyes, your beautiful smile, your cute hair, or your sexy curves. I mean your heart too.

You have the most beautiful heart. I have never met anyone who loves as full on as you do, loves as easily you do, and see’s the good in even the worst of people. You have been bullied and beaten down so many times in your life and yet you still get back up and find a way to move on. Not just that, but you forgive people after they do this to you.

I don’t believe in heaven, or God, or angels. But if I did, I would say you were an angel. No one else I know would have as much patience as you do with people.

Even when you’ve been let down you carry on. I wish I had your strength and your honesty, and even more, I wish you could see what I see.

My dear friend, please don’t get yourself down. You don’t have a man in your life? That’s okay, because every man I’ve known you to like has not been right for you. You need someone who will sit there and stroke your hair and call you beautiful, you need someone who will understand why you want them to text back so promptly, you need a man that understands your insecurities and makes you forget them. That man does exist, I found mine when I didn’t think I ever would.

My dear friend, you are a funny one. You have the sweetest laugh and a gorgeous smile and I love seeing it more often recently.

Relish the single days because it won’t be long that you’ll look back on them and think “That was an amazing time I had. Oh and that cute boy… he was a bit of alright” remember the moments that you get to flirt and the moments you get to dance with random guys ( I know what you’re like on a night out!).

You never know when you will bump into “Mr Right”, and even better? He doesn’t know he’s going to bump into his “Mrs Right”.

I love you. You are beautiful. Never forget that.