Why I Am Never Happy

Well, c’mon guys. It’s crazy to say I’m never happy, but I am fairly certain I could be happier.

So, my theory is that I’m not happy simply because I’m not helping others as much as I could. Sure I do my fair share of simple good deeds and sure I will always try my best to help others out, but there is so much more I can do to help!

So (I know you’ll be surprised about this) HERE IS A LIST!:

Things I wanna do to help:

  • Remind my friends daily that they are beautiful.
  • Hang out with some of the elderly- let’s get chatting!
  • Buy strangers more coffee.
  • Send more flowers to strangers.
  • Leave cool notes at resteraunts.
  • Tell bad jokes to customers so they laugh out of pity. (this one is for me really.)
  • Encourage friends and family to go further in their lives.
  • Drink more tea. (how can this NOT make me happy?!)

Well honestly I thought I’d have a bigger list. Fancy helping me out chums? What do you do to make someones day? Or what has someone done for you that has made your day? Please let me know!

Anyway, I need a career where I get to care for others. I need to accomplish my life goal of making the world a better place one person at a time. It’s like Ann Frank always says “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” 

SO LETS GET TO IT.

To make everyone happy will make me happy too! Smiles ahoy!

(PS- I’m new to Snapchat and I think it’s hilarious.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Cuppa Tea & Time to Type.

Well, hello there my fine feathered friends.

It’s been a while huh?

So, let me catch you up. I’m gonna do it like an episode of an American TV show…

PREVIOUSLY ON TALKTOKATE:

  • Myself and my partner broke up.
  • I have moved house twice.
  • I have moved job twice.
  • I have been in very, very low places.
  • I have drunk a lot of tea.
  • I have met a lot of new people.
  • I have been on many adventures.
  • I have been hurt.
  • I have healed.
  • Most of all… I am okay!

 

So, firstly; me and my partner broke up. Not for any bad reason, nothing happened other than we stopped loving each other the way you should. We became best friends by the end of it and it wasn’t fair on either of us to keep pushing it. We still talk though, we aren’t gonna waste almost 3 years of bonding. We are both happy, and going strong as individuals. He’s pretty cool, and I think I probably am too.

Secondly, GUYS I’VE MOVED HOUSE AND JOBS TWICE. Everything is all over the place! I am not happy in most jobs no matter how hard I try, and I think that is mainly because I’m not helping people (I’ll link ya to ‘Why I Am Never Happy‘!)and I have also moved house twice! Moving is exhausting by the way. In the space of three months I had to pack and unpack all of my belongings twice and make two different places something resembling a home. This is hard by the way. Super hard. (I’ll link ya to ‘Where’s Ya Home At’ soon). But do not fear guys! I have tea and biscuits at hand and I live with absolutely incredible people. It’s only a temporary solution whilst I get myself back on my feet, but these people are so cool for letting me have their spare room during that rollercoaster.

OKAY! So the fun bit! I HAVE BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUN! I haven’t done any crazy travelling, I don’t really have any crazy stories but what I do have is two new sisters whom I adore. Many new friends and additions to my made up family and exciting new memories that I will cherish forever! (I’ll link ya to ‘My Hand Picked Family’ soon) I have been on midnight picnics, zoo adventures, beach adventures, drinking adventures, work adventures, family adventures… all the adventures, much too many to say! So I’ll post some pictures with this ramble at the bottom so you can take a little look see!

Now the not so fun bit, I haven’t written in  a long time because I have been far too sad. I have hated myself for silly reasons, and I have been a risk to myself too. I get scared to say what I was really feeling, and where my head has been these past few months because I never want to get there again. I had to stop writing because sharing something I didn’t understand myself seemed damn near impossible, but recently I’ve had loads to say and show and so here I am. The past few months have been very emotionally taxing and in all honesty I didn’t know how I was going to make it through it. But I counted to ten and I started again. I have learnt so many new ways of coping with stress, anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, and goodness knows what other emotions have been floating around in that old noggin of mine. Thanks to some fantastic people and my own perseverance I think I’ll be okay. Naaaaah I’m jesting…. I know I’ll be okay.

I hope you wanna read still! Cos I’ve got a lot to write.

 

WATCH THIS SPACE!

 

What Now?

I often find myself sitting on my sofa blankly staring into my cup of tea thinking “what now?”

Almost 2 months ago I finally gave into my friends nagging and applied to university to do Child Nursing. I have never had confidence in myself that I would be accepted, but all of my friends constantly pushed me and told me I could do it. So I did. I sat down, whacked out a personal statement, dug up a person for a reference, and entered all of my details. Honestly, it took me about two hours to do all of that, mainly due to the fact I didn’t realise I only had three days to submit everything.

Eventually I hit that submit button, I agreed to the terms and conditions and paid what I need to. I then sat there, with my cup of tea thinking “what now?”

For a few weeks I checked my email everyday to see if I had any reply yet. Nope. Not today. But then there it was, sitting in my inbox, waiting for me to click. “Something has been changed on your UCAS application”. I put the kettle on (you always need tea through stressful times) and I sat down and clicked, patiently waiting for the page to load. What I saw made me feel many types of emotions; scared, confused, sad, happy, hungry. I had been rejected from university. “What now?”

Okay, So I’ll phone them, maybe they can help me? “Sorry but we won’t even consider you for this as there are people with much better qualifications than you, you don’t even have an A-level science” So I get my tea, I get online and I search for the solution (that was after I did a little bit of crying). I signed up to two home learning courses Mental Health and Social Care and an A-level science. I phone back the next day and the lady seems impressed. She let’s me speak to the admissions team. They aren’t impressed. “What now?”

Honestly, this whole thing has only just ended about two months on. I am not going to university and I am still doing my courses at home. “What now?”

Step 1- Put the kettle on

Step 2- Make tea

Step 3- Drink Tea and write first blog about my devastation.

Step 4- Tidy house; Tidy work place, tidy mind.

Step 5- Go for a walk, this will help me clear my mind, plus I can buy chocolate now.

Step 5- Return with chocolate and make another cup of tea.

Step 6- Realise that rejection isn’t the end.

Step 7- Think about my future and what I want to accomplish.

Step 8- Remember, I am only 22, life hasn’t even begun yet!

Step 9- Stop doubting myself

Step 10- Start engines and go.

“What now?” This isn’t the end, this is an invitation to start again.