I Love Love and I Love Sharing The Loving Love.

Love is the best thing ever. Love for your partner, your family, your friends, yourself, Pokemon, cake, permanent markers, flowers, shoes, pizza, Pokemon some more, and I’m getting carried away. But how much do you just love love?

There was a time I was single and completely okay with it. Wanna hear my secret? I had a lot of fun and I shared the love.

My favourite past time for Valentines day is buying two bunches of flowers and two boxes of chocolates and separating them into one flower and a few chocolates. I would then attach a note that says something like “Smile, love is never far away.” something soppy and simple like that, then I would walk around and place them on random peoples doorsteps or hand them to people on the street.

You might think that it is completely stupid and lame or what ever. But I knew that just because I wasn’t in a relationship with someone, that didn’t mean that I was alone, and I wanted to share that with other people.

Valentines day is a chance to show love for more than just your partner. Why shouldn’t everyone- even strangers get to feel that silly warmness you get when someone says that they care about you? Why should people with partners be the only one to get chocolates and flowers on valentines day?

Go out today and spread some love. Tell your colleague how nice their hair looks today, tell a stranger that their shoes are cute, tell a friend that you love  their face, buy someone a coffee, buy someone (me) a cake, send a random person some flowers, buy your self a pint of cider. Do anything to spread that love like butter on toast!

Valentines day: Let’s show the world some lovin’. 

Happy Valentines everyone- hope your day is full of love and happy things!

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My ’50 Shades Of Grey Experience’

Firstly, I wouldn’t normally want to write or share any of what I’m about to but I have recently been talking to a lot of my friends including younger girls, and also reading a lot of different articles regarding the upcoming release of the ‘love’ story.

A friends of mine recently told me about some sex that her and her partner had. It was the first time they’ve had sex as they have only been dating for a short time. So she was expecting simple, average sex. But he wasn’t. The first thing he did was flip her over on to her stomach and tie her hands and ankles together. She doesn’t have much experience with sex as she has only had one short term boyfriend before who was as innocent and sweet as she is. So she asked me (because apparently I’m an expert) why he did it and is she being a chicken weirdo for not enjoying it. This scares me. Why did she not instantly say “I’m not enjoying this, stop”. She said she didn’t think he would which in her words was “okay, because it’s what he’s comfortable with”  What about YOU?

If you have read the books you will have been co-ersed into believing a lot of things within this book. A lot of things about love and sex that aren’t particularly true.

I have had a lot of experience in this, which I will share with you in due time. I am not writing this for anything other than sharing my opinion and my story so that hopefully others can see the sorts of things that we are quite possibly up against.

50 Shades shows a relationship between a very rich and wealthy man (Christian) and a young (very innocent) college girl (Ana). The relationship is far from loving in fact (in my opinion) it is rather abusive. Christian is a man who enjoys dehumanising Ana, by doing horrible things to her.

A lot of people may see their relationship as romantic because he ‘worships’ the ground she walks on, but actually stalking and having abusive fantasies about her is far from romantic.

I would just like to point out, I am not judging anyone who enjoys a bit of rough play (who doesn’t like a bit of cheekiness?), this is just my story.

Almost 3 years ago now I was in a very horrible relationship. He was a drug dealer and very messed up. When I first met him he was wonderful treated me like I was cool, didn’t criticise me, made me feel pretty, and always wanted me around him. Always. I didn’t see any problem with this. He was 5 years older than me (I 18, him 23) and he often treated me like a little kid. Eventually I noticed he stopped being considerate about doing drugs around me and started expecting me to do everything for him, shopping, cleaning, taking care of his dog, making dinner for him and his 8 friends, stay up until 5 in the morning providing drink for him and his friends when I had work at 6 and many other things. I started to get annoyed at him for treating me like this and started to ask him to change some of his bad habits.

He didn’t like this. The first time it happened was when I asked him to keep the music down because I needed to sleep as I had work early in the morning. He terrified me. It started out as shouting and spitting in my face and telling me I was going to work to cheat on him (he was very messed up.) and that I was ugly and fat and that’s why he hated having sex with me etc (he also said he wouldn’t have sex with me unless I wore heels, dyed my hair, and wore make up and fake eye lashes). This at first made me go “Woah, what the hell?! maybe he had a bad day.” Then it became more. That night he “apologised” to me by waking me up to have sex. It started out fine but then it became very rough and aggressive. He used to strangle me during sex. I was scared and confused so I didn’t argue. I also had’t had much experience with sex at this point, so I kind of thought that this is what it was meant to be like.

It got even worse when he would lock me in his room tied up (all arms and legs to each corner of the bed) with all of his friends in the other room so he could come in and do what ever he wanted to me, whenever he wanted.

THIS IS NOT ROMANCE. THIS IS NOT LOVE. THIS IS ABUSE.

It took me a long time to realise that actually sex is meant to be a loving act, between two people who want to have hot, passionate sex.

just so you all know, you can have really good sex with out being abusive. if you’re into it just make sure you do it with someone that will know when you say no for real because that is where you need to draw the line.

50 Shades promotes violence as sexiness. It makes you think that the fact the this guy is all over this woman to the point of stalking her, and the fact that he wants to do all of these things to her is sexy. It’s not. What is sexy is a man that doesn’t mind picking you up and pressing against you on the bed and ripping your clothes off without having to demoralise you. (sex is better when emotions are there.)

The first book ends with a sentence that should make you all go “Crap. That is crazy.”

“with Ana alone, crying on her bed because she has fallen for a man who she now knows is deeply disturbed.”

What woman or man deserves to be left crying because of sex? What woman or man deserves to be left crying at all?! No one!

I ask you something. Think of your friend in this situation.

She doesn’t think it’s sexy.

Your best friend.

Your sister.

Your mother.

Your daughter.

It may feel weird to think of those people having this kind of sex. But if you saw them crying about this, and they told you all the things Christian had done to Ana. What would you want to do to him?

They may think it’s fine to be treated like a sex object, they may think it’s okay to be seen like a piece of crap, and they may even think it’s fine if they’re only aggressive in the bedroom.

This book; this film that is so easily accessible (just as much as porn), is promoting this sort of behaviour.

On a quick side note, a lot of you may think “But she changes him and makes him see the nice romantic way!” NO. They. Never. Change. Take that from someone who knows.

I’m not saying that people who enjoy a bit of BDSM are crazy and sexual predators, I’m just pointing out; would you prefer to promote a healthy, loving, and understanding sexual relationship to your children? Or would you prefer they thought that ‘normal sex’ means having to get tied up, gagged and humiliated?

I know which one I chose.

Also- WHAT MANIACS HAVE BOUGHT IT MORE THAN HARRY POTTER?! HARRY POTTER IS THE BEST!!

Once again- I haven’t written this for any other reason than I am concerned and this sort of thing quite frankly is scary to me.

Have sex. Have a lot of fun sex. Have amazing sex. But remember it’s got to be as good for you as it is for the other person.

I’m Addicted To Learning.

I’m not sure if this is actually a huge issue. But I can get a bit too into subjects. And they aren’t always helpful to general life, they just take over my life until I know enough to talk about it.

I think it started when I had my first job (folding towels and selling curtains because I’m hardcore) Basically I couldn’t fold towels in the perfect way they are meant to to be and it upset me (I get very frustrated at thingsI can’t do) So on the last day of my first week I spent the best part of the day just folding towels until i got to the point of being able to do it stood up and really quickly. Accomplishment! (not much to some I guess- but now my towels look nice folded)

I carried on this sort of behaviour in most of my jobs even up until now and this has meant that in one of my jobs I became one of top sellers in the company (only because of a couple of crazy rich people!) and why I have also become a member of management in every job I have had since I was 18. I do not like not knowing things. So I make sure I know everything I can.

At first I used to get frustrated and even embarrassed  that I didn’t know how to do everything straight away, but then I realised that actually I am becoming quicker at learning and quicker at understanding the more I put my mind to the learning of whatever it it I want to know!

So, not only am I currently managing to blag being knowledgeable in my current job, I have even been told my my manager, my area manager, and other members of management from other stores that I am already fantastic! It’s this reaction I love. The reaction of shock that I am doing so well.

I don’t mean this in a “HA! I’m doing so well, praise me” way. I just mean it in a “I’m pretty darned shocked too!” kind of way!

But anyway, I am addicted to learning because I like feeling like I’ve accomplished something. But i seem to only learn things about facts and general knowledge. Obviously that’s not a bad thins but I feel like I could learn a lot more!

So again I call on you lovely people; What can I learn next? And what do you guys want to learn? Shall we get this done together?

I need to learn how to swim and at least one language. So what can I do guys? Let’s learn together!

My Reason For: Restarting

So today I was working and my old primary school head teacher walked in. (cue the happiest, loudest, and bubbliest I’ve been in a  long time.)

He wasn’t just any teacher. He was the coolest, funniest, kindest one I’ve known.

He is the one that made me want to be a teacher in the first place. He made me believe in myself when I was younger and he was the one that helped me think in my later life that I could actually do anything worth talking about. Today is a great example of the kind of man he is.

So let me first tell you what makes him the best.

In many other schools they were forced to sing Hymns and religious songs, While I have nothing against that; what could beat a good ol’ sing-a-along to Elvis, or The Beatles, or even Paul McCartney and anything else like that. We also got to sing songs like these below!!

Those are the ones that I remember the most!

So anyway, not only was he the coolest, he was super nice! He was really fair and would always speak to me like I was a grown up (he even made me and my friend librarians!) He convinced me that I should stand up to bullies by being a grow up and he convinced me that I was a good, smart person. He did this even into my life in secondary school, and clearly further on too.

If you ask any of his old students (as he retired a few years ago, I cried at his retirement assembly when I was volunteering there.) they will all tell you how lovely he was. I can’t quite put my finger on it but he is the type of teacher that respected his students even though they were 6, and he was the type of teacher that would say “Oh it’s raining, quick everyone lay on the ground with a straight body in a start shape.” so we would all get to the playground floor with our heads together and create big starts by keeping the ground under us dry…. the only thing (that he laughed at) was that our uniforms were soaked!

He was so much fun, there was always a good joke, a good story, and a song in his voice.

Because of how good he was up until the day he left (and clearly after too) he inspired me to want to become a teacher.

Somewhere along the line I lost track of what I was doing with my life, I’m still a little lost today. But as soon as I spoke to him today I remembered; I want to be the Mr Glenny for my children and others too.

Today I was re-inspired. 

I hope I can find his email or some form of contact so I can send this to him, I think all of his students want him to know how much he influenced our lives. I want him to know how much he has helped me by just being a fantastic and fun teacher.

Who or what inspires you? Have you lost inspiration lately? Let’s get it back shall we?

Liebster Award

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Thank you to Tinyexpats for my nomination for the Liebster Award. Go check it out! Some super cute blogs about travelling and general life!

Very quickly, thank you to anyone that actually follows/ reads any of the posts i put out. I never expected anyone to actually read any of them so I am super grateful for all that do! Thank you!

The rules of Liebster Award are:

Acknowledge and link back to the person who nominated you

Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you

Share 11 random facts about yourself

Nominate other bloggers with less than 200 followers.

Give your nominees 11 questions to answer on their blog when they post about the Liebster Award.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 29, and find line 4. What is the book and does it say?

“Our house came into view and I found the porch light off, the windows dark.” (Twenty-Eight and a Half Wishes)

2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

Australia or Japan!

3. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do?

This is a tough one. Only one thing? I would change peoples views on each other. So no one is negative towards another person, that way loads more things would change. Like a butterfly effect maybe?

4. Is the glass half empty or half full?

Half full!

5. When is the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

I’m fairly certain it was last summer? My partners mum was growing them!

6. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be a teacher and a mother too.

  7. What is your favorite time of the day?

The morning! I am a bit of a morning person (sorry to anyone that has to wake up to me!)

8. What inspires you?

My friends travelling and doing fantastic things with their lives and my family doing big things too (my brother getting married, my mum completed loads of college courses, and my other brothers never seem to let anything get in their way of learning new things)

9. What is your favorite childhood memory?

I’m not sure I can choose just one! Seeing my shadow when I was learning to ride a bike. It was night time and there was a flood light close by and as I got closer to the light on my bike my shadow got bigger and I felt AMAZING!

10. What three things in nature do you find most beautiful? Clouds, the ocean, and animals that work together to survive! Among many other things of course!

Okay, so now 11 facts about myself!

1. I can’t swim

2. I dropped out of college

3. I left home when I was 16

5. I sing everyday (to the delight of my neighbours)

6. I wish I spoke Japanese fluently (among many other languages)

7. I have Fybromyalgia

8. I have four brothers

9. By the end of summer I will have a sister-in-law

10. I LOVE Disney! JUST LOVE IT!

11. I love watching films that make ya think! And love commenting on the cinematography because clearly I’m an expert film critic! (that is complete sarcasm) Now for the bit I am excited about and the bit that I actually found the hardest! Here are some blogs I nominate for the Liebster Award. You should go check them out because I think they all deserve you’re attention!

GO! GO! GO!

1. Joslinadventures.

2. Flowmustgo

3. Starlight Daydreamer

4. SwimSwimLittleSquid

5. Doted on

6. Revisions Of Grandeur

I have been trying to look for more people but everyone has loads of bloggers, you’re all doing so well already! So I am unable to fulfil this completely! Either way, please go and check these guys out! They are all excellent writers and all good blogs to read!

Happy Blogging!